I grew up in a community that was steeped in traditions. Unfortunately, being gay wasn’t one of them. 

My family consisted of all women. And I mean, all women – my grandmother, my aunt, cousins, and extended family members.  I did not grow up with my parents and siblings, so I did not experience what a young boy normally would: Basketball, play with toy guns, get into scuffles, and a whole lot more that I thought I missed. Regardless, I’m proud of how I grew up and carried a lot of optimism when I entered college. 

Fast forward to circa 2002, when I started recognizing hints of softness in my personality. I fought really hard to act strong, to be tough, and to like women. But none of that, I soon realized,  was for me. So, when I started opening up to what I might really feel inside to recognize my heartfelt preferences, I became more “me.” Sadly, I encountered a lot of wrong turns before I realized that there were dangers to our choices. And I had my fair share of failures, decisions that I regret making, and a whole lot of pain that I brought to my family -- not because of who I am, but because of the choices I made.

 So when did I come out as gay? I didn’t. I never had a coming out moment like others. Conversations at home led to awkward silence most of the time. I learned, unfortunately, that when there’s not much openness at home about our sexuality, it translates into how a community will react. 

When I started working, being gay was not a good discussion for me to engage in. I never denied being gay, but I also never showed pride in being who I really am. I’m not ashamed, I’ve always been afraid of discrimination and the possible prejudice that others have toward someone like me.  

So, I just chose to survive. I chose to live and act normal as if what I felt and who I really am weren’t normal. Throughout my career, I’ve always put my nose to the grindstone just to prove my worth. There was an inner battle and fire to excel and be better -- better than how I performed yesterday and better than anyone else. There was no discrimination at all. But I still feared that preconceived notion about gay men – talented, super at anything, artistic, and so much more.  

That brings me to today. I am so proud to be in an organization that upholds meritocracy and values your worth based on what you have done. That’s what Wipro has given me:  A space to be the real me.  Personally, I still feel as if I have to stay away from any situation that will compromise my name, and my reputation. But fate has its own way of teaching us lessons by bringing us into very uncomfortable and awkward positions. And I always question why I am always in trouble and why I find myself in situations that test who I am and my character.

One of my key learnings so far in my life has been to realize that being gay doesn’t make us special. It doesn’t make us more powerful than other people. Being gay or lesbian holds power and a voice that can create ripples in the water. But so does being a heterosexual man or woman, being young or old. While we are all equals, we each were created differently with our own paths to take, our own purpose to serve.

 It is very promising to see how this industry has contributed so much when it comes to acceptance not just for our LGBTQ+ community but also in promoting diversity and inclusion in the workplace, spiralling its effect into our communities. Today’s promise, however, brings with it the possibility of fear, fear that the acceptance we are experiencing might just be thrown out because of aggressions within the community; men vs. men, women vs. women, gay vs. gay, and more. We have made great strides in our march for acceptance. As a community, we all need to nurture that and continue raising that flag higher than it ever was before. 

 Love is the most powerful weapon: Love for self, love for family, and love for everyone in the community.

 To those who continue to live in the closet, just respect the process of acceptance. Enjoy the journey towards fully accepting and embracing your individuality, as I did. We were all created differently. We have the power and the voice to create change, to influence in our simplest ways. And as we continue to embrace our sexuality, our choices in life, and our rights as individuals, let us not forget to also respect the choices of others and the battles they also are fighting.

 I am hopeful that someday there is no need for anyone to “come out” as gay. That society will not question one’s preferences. Rather, that society will encourage meaningful conversations that go beyond who is straight… or not. I am hopeful that someday, we can all just co-exist and live our lives with Pride.